There's a lot I've wanted to share here, but I haven't found the time. Well I haven't made the time, but I'm working on that. I'm trying to be more proactive of how I spend my time, which meant that certain hobbies, such as this blog had to fall by the way side as I worked on building new habits. And then we were all placed in quarantine. So what's happened over the past five months? Well a lot!
I Got a New Job & Started Working On Myself
I had gone about 6 months working as a nanny and it just wasn't cutting it for me. I really did enjoy a lot of it, and I do still do the occasional sitting job for a friend of two, but I wasn't running myself as a business, and so I wasn't making profits. It was the second time I had ever quit a job and it was just as hard, but honestly for the best. I ended up finding a new job in October at a Five Guys, and although it wasn't exactly what I wanted, I am all the better for it. I absolutely love the work I do, I enjoy the people I work with and I can honestly say it brings me joy. I had worked so long avoiding working a job I had never experienced solely based on the perspective other people had on it, but honestly one of the things I'm working on this year has been not making decisions based on other people's opinions, and I'm honestly enjoying that liberation!
I have known for a long time that I struggle with productivity. It's not that I don't want to do things it's that I don't know how to get started, and I fear failure so finishing projects becomes hard too. As anyone who struggles with productivity knows it's not about not having goals it about making the plans for those goals. It took me five years to get my license because I was so afraid of driving that I didn't pursue a permit, and then once I had a permit I wasn't persistent and vocal enough to get any behind the wheel training. So I let my permit expire and I got another one a year or two later. I didn't end up actually getting my license until May of 2018 right before I left for summer camp. And I was so mad that I hadn't done it sooner. It was then I decided I needed to start setting attainable goals and working on them. So when I came back from camp that year I decided to quit my job at my dad's office and find something I enjoyed. I started working full time as a nanny and really enjoyed the experience. I had to learn to manage my own time and money. I had to learn to budget for expenses (crafts, trips to the zoo, gas, ect.) and I learned a lot about managing myself. Although in the end I decided to stop nannying as it wasn't a consistent or profitable business for me at the time, I am so thankful for that experience. I learned to set my own time, I learned to not overwork myself and still stay productive, and I learned to value my own worth, and not take no for an answer. This lead me to finding the job at Five Guys and everything about it seemed to fall into place. It's close enough to home in Riverside that I get to take a really beautiful drive, and it's close enough to church and friends in Corona that I can stay connected to my community. It's a job and it's not forever but in a weird and personal way it gave me a ton of independence and I'm so thankful for it.
I Started Attending A Bible Study
My church started a new round of growth groups and I got involved in the young adults group. After a long time of nannying and volunteering in church with preschoolers it was a really great shift to start hanging out with people my own age. 😂 It also allowed me to build a stronger connection with God and helped me a lot through the shift we were all forced into over the last month. If it weren't for these people constantly lifting each other up and finding new ways to help out our community I don't know how I would have taken going into quarantine. Last year I struggled with a lot of things I didn't feel comfortable talking to others about, and now I have a group of people I can tell absolutely anything to without fear of judgement. I'm so grateful for this group of people and can't wait until we're all allowed to meet in person again. I'd really like to encourage you to find a group to get together with throughout the week, whether it's a bible study, a book club, an online game group or whatever you're interested in. If quarantine has taught me anything it's the importance of community, and that's coming from an introvert who was home schooled her whole life. Stay connected to the people you love and remind them why you love them. I find that the best thing to do when you start to feel alone is to reach out to someone who might be feeling alone too. Stick with it for at least two weeks, even if it feels awkward at first, you never know how it could impact someone's life or even your own.
I Stared Organizing My House
Eesh the big one! Has anyone else gotten so freaking bored?! I am not one for house work in fact I am currently writing this in an attempt to avoid doing dishes, but this last week I got so bored I started doing laundry voluntarily! Which if you know me is actually something I will avoid doing as much as possible until all I have left is a swimsuit and two mismatched socks. But I've actually stared to enjoy some of it. My mom and I went through our garage and started getting rid of old craft supplies, fabrics, home school curriculum and all the random junk my various fairly members have dumped on us in the past few years. It's crazy busy work and we're still a long way from the finish line but it's been very cathartic for both my mother and myself. If you've been avoiding doing a Marie Kondo sweep through or a simple trip to the dump I highly recommend it. It's incredibly liberating.
I Started Setting New Goals
Now I have in no way mastered any of these new habits I've picked up. I still struggle with speaking up and connecting to people when I feel lonely. I still have times when all I want to do all day is watch Netflix or paint pretty pictures, but I'm beginning to learn to self motivate, something I was never taught as a kid. I find that when I do have bursts of energy to do something creative I will channel that into something productive, like taking the dog on a walk, or loading the dishwasher, and then rewarding myself with a night of Netflix and painting. Little things like this are helping me to stay motivated and continue a path of building new and better habits. If you're like me ask yourself this: "What kind of person do I want to be coming out of quarantine?" Do you want to be more responsible with your finances? More active, going on hikes and runs daily or even weekly? And then ask yourself: "What is one thing I can do right now that brings me one step closer to that goal?" and do it.
I'm not saying that you'll see improvement over night. Lord knows I have't! And I'm not saying you won't miss a day or two, but finding a group of people to keep you motivated and finding ways to motivate yourself will help you begin to inch closer to that finish line. And it's so worth it! So love yourself, start doing things that bring you motivation and passion, surround yourself (virtually or 6 feet apart 😊) with people who will encourage you, motivate you, and and celebrate with you. We may not know what the future holds, but we can start by building who we want to be when we get there.
~Delaney
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